Saturday, 17 April 2004

Peeps make me sad...
Today I had some marshmellow Peeps for lunch. Five, to be exact. They came in a little box. I ate two when I started thinking "hey, what's that group of vegetarians who can't eat anything with a face?" And then I was like "Peeps have faces" and then I got sad because you know, what if the little Peeps knew their fate? See it's like, when cows are going up the ramp into the slaughter-room thing to be all chopped up, how do we KNOW they don't know they're gonna be killed? 'Cus like every comedian on the planet does the bit about "Cows are so stupid- they walk up the ramp to the slaughter house, watch the cow in front of them get chopped up, and they keep following up the ramp! That's soooo dumb! Haw haw haw".. But what if, when each little Peep sees his siblings get eaten he KNOWS that he's in line for that horrible death-- he's going to be eaten alive! That's terrible! *I* wouldn't want to be eaten alive!! And so, I wondered if i should eat the other three, since i felt so bad about killing them, but you know, what was I gonna do- set them free?? Oh, the neighbors would love THAT- they think I'm weird enough already without me throwing Peeps out the front door and yelling "Fly away little friends! Fly away and be FREEEEE!" But I was still in the middle of lunch, so I ate the other three. But I bit their heads off first to try and make it as quick and painless as possible. I ALMOST cried I was so sad, but then I'm a HUGE wussie and I cry at the drop of a hat, so that was probably it.

So the moral of the story is: Gail can NEVER eat Peeps EVER again. Ever.

Posted by bandvamp01 at 1:47 PM EDT

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